The Book of Secret Arts
by pen123
Summary: Hayley Smith receives a special wish book for her 21st birthday! Later, she, Jeff Fischer, Steve Smith, and an OC character join forces to compete in the inaugural Murder Games.
1. Chapter 1: Hayley's 21st Birthday

**Disclaimer****: I do not own any of these characters, nor the show. This is inspired by many fan fictions I have enjoyed reading. This is my first attempt, so please enjoy, comment, or give feedback.**

Chapter 1: Hayley's 21st Birthday

"Where am I" said a girl's voice. "Welcome young lady" said a man's voice. "You look very beautiful for such a young lady."

"What are you doing to me?"

"There's nothing to worry about. Your brother and his girlfriend and your boyfriend will be fine."

"First of all, he's my husband, not my boyfriend." "Second of all, you leave them alone or else."

"Or else what?"

"Or else feel the wrath of H-"

"Attack, men!"

"NO! You leave me alone, help help!"

(Alarm clock rings)

Hayley Dreamsmasher Fischer-Smith wakes up from her nightmare. She sees her husband, Jeff, and kisses him on the forehead while he is asleep. She gets out of bed. She gathers her normal clothes, heads to the bathroom, undresses, and takes a shower. After her shower, she puts on

her normal clothes, brushes her teeth, and goes back to her room to decide which headband to wear (since they're all the same). After getting dressed, she walks down to the kitchen to have breakfast.

"Good morning Mom!" said Hayley.

"Good morning sweetheart!" answered Francine.

"Morning sis" answered her nerdy brother Steve.

"Morning dork of ages" Hayley answers back with a smile.

"Morning happy new family" Jeff exclaimed as he enter the kitchen.

"Morning Jeff" Francine replied. "Morning" Steve answered back.

"Hi, babe." Hayley got up from her chair and walk towards Jeff to give him a kiss on the lips.

"You know what day it is?" Hayley asked.

"Oh, let's see. (Gasp) It's the last day to get the milk that is 2 for 1 for $1" Francine said.

"Nope. Come on now." Hayley persisted.

"Oh I know. It must be the day where I can finally kick Vince Chung's butt". Steve said.

"No! Come on now you guys. Babe?"

"I got it Hayley. Unlike these people I never forget this special day" Jeff said.

"It is the day when I will celebrate…..my first year anniversary as a member of the Smith family".

Hayley face palms. "Oh come on you guys!" (phone rings) "I'll get that. Hello? Yes, I'm on my way. Okay bye. Crap! I'm late again. Gotta go! When I get home you guys should now what day it is!"

"Got it honey. Bye!" Francine replied as Hayley got her stuff to leave for her job at a clinic's office for women. She walks out of the house, gets inside her car, and drives off.

"Good job guys! Hayley almost ruined her surprise!" Francine shouted.

"Phew! That was a close one! Okay Jeff, go get the booze, Mom and I will decorate the house

for the party" Steve ordered.

"Got it dude! Hayley is going to have her time of her life" Jeff remarked.

"Good! Let's get to work. Where's your father? He said that he was coming home early from work with a present for Hayley" Francine wondered.

Jeff left the house to pick up some liquor, while Steve and Francine began to decorate the house.

"Hey guys! Whose party is it today? Mine?" Roger asks.

"Nice try Roger!" Steve answered. "It's a birthday party for my 21 year old sister."

"Hayley? I thought you hated her!" Roger said.

"I never hated her! Yes, we pick on each other, but we love each other very much, right Mom?" Steve asked.

"That's right, honey!" Francine replied.

"Oh wait, it's me who hate Hayley. You give her this party and not one for me?!" Roger exclaimed.

"First of all, why do you hate her and second of all, we did throw you a party. In fact, it was a roast, in which you almost killed us" Steve stated.

"That was a long time ago" Roger replied.

"Roger, stop being such a hater! You lost! You thought Jeff will never return home and guess what? He's getting booze for the party!" Steve told him.

"Damn Jeff and Hayley! Being happy together after all I've done to them. Oh well, maybe I can ruin this party somehow" whispered Roger.

"Piss off Roger or help us!" Steve snapped.

"Okay smarty pants!" Roger helps out.

Meanwhile, at the clinic, "Happy birthday, birthday girl" one of Hayley's coworkers give Hayley a bouquet of flowers.

"Aww, thank you!" Hayley answered back with a hug.

"Yo Hayley, happy birthday girl!" a male nurse states it with a gift box.

"Thanks Jack!" Hayley hugs him.

"Hello Hayley. For being such a hard working young lady and since today is your birthday, you get this as your present" her supervisor gives her an envelope. Inside was a check for $2000.

"Thanks boss!" Hayley said as she also hugs her supervisor as well.

"At least my coworkers remembered my birthday, unless my family" Hayley bitterly said in her mind.

Meanwhile, a black SUV shows up at the Smith household. Out comes Stan Smith as he enters the house.

"Hello my family."

"Stan, welcome home honey." "Did you remember to get a present for Hayley" Francine asked Stan.

"Uh yeah! It must be in the car. Let me go get it." Stan said as he got his keys, went outside to his SUV, and drives off.

"CRAP CRAP CRAP! I forgot that today is Hayley's birthday. That's the point of me going home early. This was a thank you from Bullock for working hard at the CIA by going home early and still getting paid, yet I still totally forgot!" Stan said to himself. "Not to worry! I'll go pick something up at the CIA to make sure that everything goes well. I hope it's nothing that has heroin inside just like Steve's previous birthdays!"

"I'm back" said Jeff, who was carrying a paper bag full of liquor as he returned to the Smith house.

"Oh, you got the good ones, dude" Steve said. "Smirnoff, Dos Equis, Jack Daniel's, wine?"

"Yeah. To have some privacy with my birthday babe after the party" Jeff said.

"Nice man! Mom can I have one drink during the party?"

"You can have two drinks, but no more Steve. Even though you're almost 17, you can but only if you promise not to tell your friends" Francine replied.

"Got it mom!" Steve replied.

Steve and Jeff said in unison "This will be the best birthday surprise ever!"

**I hope the first chapter went well. If it is successful, the story becomes much more interesting. I will say that there will be a shift between one idea and the next. So please spare with me. I hope you enjoyed reading chapter 1. I cannot promise that I will upload a new chapter everyday due to holidays and personal moments. Take care and I will see you next time.**


	2. Chapter 2: The Present

**Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own any of this! So please stop suing me Seth MacFarlane XD! Instead I should be the one suing you for making me fat and depressed after killing off Brian from Family Guy. No, just kidding! This was to see if anyone was paying attention. I would never sue the creator of Family Guy or American Dad. Okay, I will shut up and let you enjoy chapter 2. **

Stan is driving his SUV towards the CIA. On the road, there appears a traffic jam.

(Cars honking)

"Come on, dammit! I need to get back to the CIA to pick up a present for my daughter!"

(Honks SUV loudly)

"Move you stupid son of a bitches! Move! Move!"

The traffic jam begins to fade.

"Phew! Finally!"

As Stan drives off quickly, a police car stops him. The officer steps out of his car and approaches towards Stan.

"Is there a problem, officer?" Stan asked.

"You know why I pulled you over?"

"Listen, I work for the CIA and I am dying to give my baby girl her birthday present. So please let me go!"

"So, you work for the CIA? I'm sure you guys can save the world from world domination."

"Did you pull a condescending Wonka meme?"

"Ha ha! Just testing you. Well, okay. I'll let you off with a warning. But next time, there will be no next time. Have a good day!"

"Thank you, sir!" Stan exclaims as he drives off.

"Finally! Someone who gets my joke!" The officer told himself as he goes back inside his car.

Meanwhile, at the Smith household, "How does everything look so far?" Francine asked.

"Mom! We're almost done!" Steve answered back.

"Hey Francine! Dibs on all the drinks!" Roger states.

"Hey! Don't forget! I'm drinking too!" Steve said.

"Wait, you drink?!"

"Just for the party."

"But you're not 21!"

"Mom said it was okay!"

"Oh boy! This is awkward!"

"Why is this awkward?"

"Because you're almost 17 and you drank when you were 14."

"Look, I was only a kid okay? I'm a much different person now because of that moment."

"Are you Steven Anita? Are you?"

"Why? What makes you say that?"

"Because you and Hayley haven't gotten along well."

"We have! Name one time when we never gotten along."

"The fake IDs!"

"That was your's, Dad's, and Bullock's fault!"

"No it wasn't!"

"Yes it was!"

"Okay okay! Let's see here, the 20th anniversary present for Stan and Francine."

"Your alter egos ruined us! But we stop Valik by killing him! So HA! But how could he be dead and you still living?"

"Because I'm an alien! That's why!"

"I get you! So yes, I, and Hayley are doing well. In fact, she's a much better person after reuniting with Jeff no thanks to you or Dad."

"All right, I get the point!"

"Good! We're almost done either ways! Mom, did you order the pizza?"

"I'm getting there, honey!" Francine replied. "What do you guys want?"

"Get a veggie for Hayley and meat lovers for the rest of us" Steve answered.

"Sound good sweetheart!"

"What time is it?" Steve asked.

"It's Adventure Time!" Roger answered in a funny voice.

"No Roger! Seriously, what time is it?"

"Seriously, it's 3pm. And Adventure time! My show is on!"

"Crap! Hayley will be home in an hour! Let's hurry up people!"

Back at the CIA, Stan barely arrived.

"Hello Smith!" Bullock said. "What are you doing back here? Did you forget something?"

"Sir, I forgot my daughter's present! I was wondering if you have something for her."

"Oh yes, the beloved and beautiful Hayley! For sure! Let's make this also an apology present for having her arrested for the fake IDs."

"Yes, thank you sir!"

"Anytime, Smith. Come along!"

Stan and Bullock walked towards the end of the halls into a dark room. Bullock turns on the lights and sees a big black book covered with spider webs.

"Sir, what is this?" Stan asked.

"This, my friend, is a wish book!"

"A what book?"

"A wish book. All you do is write whatever you wish for and it will come true."

"Perfect! Thank you sir!" Stan exclaims as he takes the book and hugs and kisses Bullock.

"Gotta go! See ya!" Stan leaves.

"Wait Smith! There are a bunch of rules that must be followed. Oh boy, I hope he knows what he is doing."

Stan takes the book and puts it inside his SUV and enters inside as well. Before Stan puts on his seatbelt, he takes a look at the book.

"Let's see here. A little cleaning and it will be good to go." Stan wipes the dust off and it spells out "THE BOOK OF SECRET ARTS".

"The Book of Secret Arts, huh? Where did I hear that before? Oh well, Hayley will thank me for it"

Stan told himself as he drives off home.

Back at the Smith household, the party is all set.

"Perfect! Hayley is going to be so surprised when see says all of this!" Steve said with a proud tone.

"Oh, can I have a drink now?" Roger asked.

"No Roger! Wait until we yell surprise to Hayley when she gets him" Francine pestered. "Where is Stan anyways?"

Stan arrives home.

"Hello family! I found a perfect gift for Hayley."

"What is it?" Francine asked.

"It's a wish book!" Stan answered.

"Wow, Dad! Great thinking! You could have gotten her another headband or something special and all you got was a stupid book? I'm sure Hayley will love it" Steve answered in a sarcastic tone.

"It's not stupid! It works! Trust me!" Stan answered with a positive tone.

"Do you hear that?" Francine asked. "Hayley must be getting home already."

"Oh no! Places everybody!" Stan ordered as the family hid.

Inside of a doorknob moving, a ring sound occurs.

Stan opened the door and it was the pizza delivery man.

"Hello, I have 1 large veggie and 3 large meat lovers' pizzas."

"Oh, thank God! Okay how much?"

"$62.32"

"All right, here you go. Keep the change." Stan gives him the money.

"Have a good day sir!" The pizza delivery man leaves with the money.

Stan and Francine put the pizzas on the kitchen table.

"Whew! That was a close one!" Stan exclaimed.

"Oh no!" Steve shouted.

"What's wrong, son?"

"I just got a text from Hayley and she said that she's stuck in traffic and won't be home until 1 hour later."

"Damn! The pizzas will get cold by the time she gets here! Oh well, we can use this time to invite the rest of our family."

"Good idea, Stan."

**Okay, I hope you guys enjoyed it. I know that this chapter was simple, but like I said, it will get better. Patience is a virtue, people. Okay, I hope you enjoy and so please comment my story. Thank you and have a wonderful merry Christmas! I may resume after Christmas.**


	3. Chapter 3: SURPRISE!

**Disclaimer: I once again do NOT own any of these. If I get one more lawsuit, I will explode like Kenny from South Park! XD Just kidding! **

Stan and Francine invite both their parents over to the party. A few minutes later,

Mama and Baba enter.

"Hello, daughter" greeted Mama.

"Hello, Stan" Baba greeted.

"Welcome" Stan said.

Finally, enter Jack and Betty Smith.

"Hi mom! Hi dad! I thought you were coming separately."

"We're grandparents first, and then a separated divorced couple second." Jack said.

"I can't believe my granddaughter is now a grown woman." Betty said.

"Glad you're all here. Let's wait for out birthday girl to come in."

"Stan! Why did you invite your father over?" Francine asked in a concerned voice.

"Oh come one Francine! He's not all bad. What's the worst thing that could happen?"

More party guests come over to the Smith household.

"Hey y'all!" Out comes a small koala.

"Hey look! Reginald!" Stan exclaimed.

"Hey Mr. Smith. I can't wait to celebrate our Hayley's b-day!"

"Our Hayley? What is he talking about, Mr. S?" Jeff asked.

"Uh, not sure Jeff" Stan answered in a nervous tone.

"Hey dad" Steve said. "I got a text from Hayley and she's coming in any minute now."

"Oh crap! Everybody, hide!" Stan ordered as the house guests and the family hid.

A door knob had twisted slowly. Hayley enters the building and everybody pops out.

"SURPRISE! Happy birthday, Hayley!"

Hayley is filled with tears of joy. "Oh my God! I'm so surprised! How did you do all this?"

"It was our idea, babe" Jeff answered as he hugs and kisses his wife.

"Thank you, babe! Thanks everybody!" Hayley exclaims as she gives a group hug to her family.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart! Okay, let's get this party started."

"Can we start with presents, dad?" Hayley asked.

"Sure, let's start."

Hayley was given a bunch of wrapped-up presents and opens her first.

"Wow! A laser pointer! Thanks Steve!"

*****"You're welcome, sis. This is cool. You can land it on people's crotches."

Steve points the laser through the window and the red lights directs at Principal Lewis's pants.

"Huh? There seems to be a red dot on my pants. Down they go!" Principal Lewis drops his pants, revealing his red thong underwear.

Yet the dot won't go away.

"Dammit! I can still see it through my underpants! Down it goes!" Principal Lewis drops his underwear as well. Out of nowhere, Joe Swanson shows up on his police car.

"Hey buddy! You might want to get that dot removed. My grandfather died of genital herpes."*****

Back at the Smith household, Hayley opens up more presents.

"Wow! Chinese hair sticks! Thanks Mama and Baba!"

"Anything for our sweet granddaughter!" Baba replied and Mama hugged her granddaughter.

Hayley continues to open more presents.

"An eye patch? Thanks grandpa!"

"Anytime, Hayley!" Jack Smith said.

"This sweater is so cute! Thanks grandma!"

"No problem, dear!" Betty Smith said.

"Here, Hayley I got you a present." Roger said.

"It's underwear. Gee, thanks Roger!" Hayley answered in an uncomfortable voice.

"Okay Hayley, you saved the best for last! Here is my present!" Stan gives Hayley the present. She opens it and looks very surprised.

"What is this?"

"It's a wish book!"

"Wow, this looks unique! Thanks dad!"

"Anytime Hayley! See Francine and Steve? I told you she likes it."

"Okay, how does this work? Is this like some diary? Let me try this out" Hayley opens the book. Inside contains a page with the words "I wish that..."

"Interesting! What should I wish? I wish that...I have another headband, the same one I have." Hayley writes it on the book. In instant seconds, another green headband with pink flowers shows up.

"Oh my God! It works! Daddy, it's perfect! Thank you!" she hugs her father.

"That's my girl! Okay everybody, let's party!" The Smith family started to have a good time!

Hours later, Hayley and Jeff are alone in her room when the party was over. They are seen drinking wine while lying and hugging together on her bed.

"Babe, this was the best present ever! Thank you!"

"Anytime, babe! I wanted to give you a good party after the crazy events that happened since we were separated."

"I know! God, I missed you so much. I felt that I wasn't the same since the day you were abducted. I could never live without you!"

"I know! Me too! We need each other more than ever."

"I love you! (kisses Jeff) More wine?"

"Yes, babe!" Hayley pours Jeff more wine on two glasses.

"How about that book, huh?"

"I'll play with it more in the morning. My head is hurting so badly."

"Sounds good, babe. Good night!"

"Good night, Jeff." She and Jeff went to sleep.

Steve, overhearing Jeff and Hayley, "I want that book!"

"Steve, what are you doing?" Roger asked as he shows up unexpectedly.

"Hey Roger. I want to use that book too."

"You see, you don't love Hayley."

"I do so! I want to see how it works. That's all."

"Sure, Steven Anita. Whatever."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that whatever Hayley gets is something that you want as well."

"Yeah, right. Oh crap! You're right. Just like the time I wore her lucky panties to school."

"What lucky panties?"

"It's a long story, Roger. The point is that book will be mine, sooner or later."

"I wouldn't count on it."

Hayley opens her bedroom door. "Guys what are you doing?"

"Nothing!" Both Steve and Roger said.

"Roger, if you're spying on me and Jeff, guess what? You can't separate us anyone, especially with this book."

"Oh really? Does it really work?"

"Well, yeah. Watch this" Hayley gets the book and writes another wish. Out comes Roger getting an atomic wedgie.

"OWW! OWW! What the hell?! I'm not even wearing underwear!"

"Ha ha! You asked for it." Hayley laughed.

Steve laughs "Good one, sis. Do me next!"

"You want a wedgie?" Hayley asked in a puzzled look.

"No! Something different."

"Okay." Hayley writes another wish. Inside Steve's eyes is a blank white screen.

"I'm blind! (Screams loudly) What the hell, Hayley?!"

"You asked if you wanted to see more."

"I mean something cool. Now give me back my vision!"

"I will if you said please."

(Sigh) "Please give me back my vision."

"Whatever." Hayley writes her wish to restore her brother's vision.

"Much better."

"All right. That's enough horsing around for today. Good night dork of ages and Roger." Hayley closes the door.

"Good night" Roger answered back.

"I'll show you who the dork of ages is" Steve said in a stern voice.

"Wait, why didn't I get a nickname?" Roger pondered.

*****This came from an episode of The Simpsons entitled "The Dad Who Knew Too Little". This was based on when Bart gave Lisa a laser pointer on her birthday and used it on Principal Skinner's pants.

**There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. There will be cameos of different characters from different shows, so I do not own any of them. Hope you had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. One of my New Years resolutions is to have this fanfiction done by the 2014 World Cup or before the year 2015. Thanks for reading! Have a nice day!**


	4. Chapter 4: How It Works

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of this! How many times will I need to repeat myself?! Okay, keep calm and keep on reading.**

The next morning, Hayley wakes up, gets out bed, goes to the bathroom, gets undressed, and takes a shower. Later, she gets dried up, wraps her body around with a pink towel, goes back to her room to pick out her clothes. After she gets dressed, she walks down to the kitchen for breakfast. The entire Smith family was grinning at her.

"Uh, hi everybody" Hayley said in a scared look.

"Hello, beautiful" Stan said with a grin.

"Hi, honey. My favorite child!" Francine also said with a huge grin.

"Hey!" Steve shouted. "I mean, hi my favorite sister!"

"What's going on?" Hayley asked.

"You tell me, girl." Stan wondered.

"Is this all about my wish book?"

"YES!" The Smith family said in unison.

"Guys, first of all, it's my present. Second of all, I can only use it for emergencies. Third of all, it's my book. I cannot have anyone ask me just to use the book."

"Aww! But there are so many things I want!" Francine said in a sad tone.

"Okay, I'll be nice since you guys gave me the best birthday party ever! Tell me what you want, write it down and I will make that happen. However, the only rules are that you cannot ask for more wishes or ask for a lot of money."

"Say what?" Stan asked in a surprising voice.

"Yup, who's first?" Hayley asked as she went upstairs to get the book from her room.

"Me, me!" Francine gets a sheet of paper, writes her wish, and gives it to Hayley, who returned with the book.

"Thank you mom" Hayley looks at it, writes Francine's wish on her book, and suddenly, nothing happened.

"Nothing happened, honey" Francine pondered.

"Check the fridge" Hayley ordered.

Francine opened the refrigerator and it was jammed pack with groceries.

"Woohoo! I don't have to go get the groceries today! Thanks honey!"

"Anytime, mom. Next?"

Stan writes down his wish and gives it to her daughter. Hayley repeats the same thing, and as usual, nothing happened.

"Hayley. Nothing happened" Stan wondered.

"Check the news" Hayley ordered.

Stan turns on the TV and displays the news.

**Cutaway**

"Breaking news! This just in! The war of Iraq is finally over! America is saved once and for all. Thanks to some anonymous source, the war is over!" Terry Bates announced.

"Oh my God! This has been the best day ever since the day Libby was born!" Greg Corbin exclaims.

**Cutaway ends**

"YES! Finally, my country is safe and sound. Thank you Hayley!" Stan exclaimed.

"Yeah, sure dad. Steve and Roger, you're next. "

"Oh, I got one!" Steve writes his wish, gives it to Hayley, but rejects it.

"No Steve. You are not getting X-Ray glasses!"

"Aww, man!" Steve said in a disappointed tone.

"Roger? You have anything to wish for?"

"Nope!"

"Nope?! What do you mean nope?"

"There's nothing I want. I'm convinced."

"Okay, that's it everybody. I have to go to work. See ya!" Hayley leaves the Smith household and puts the book in a safe spot.

"Don't worry Steve, I know how you can get your wish." Roger console Steve.

One hour later, Steve and Roger locate where the book is. Unfortunately, it was tightly secured by Hayley.

"Dammit Roger! There's no way we can get this book!"

"Watch and learn, my friend" Roger said as he puts his finger on the lock and the book becomes unlock.

"WOW! How did you do that?" Steve asked.

"Years of training, my friend. Now hurry up and write it down" Roger commanded.

Steve writes his wish and out comes a pair of glasses. "Perfect! Let's go for a walk, shall we?"

Steve and Roger went for a walk around the neighborhood. He sees people in their underwear from the glasses. Steve is very happy that the book worked.

"My turn! My turn!" Roger takes the glasses, but looks at the guys instead of the ladies that Steve looked at.

"Oh boy!"

After their day of perversion, Steve looked depressed.

"Hey buddy! What's wrong?" Roger asked.

"Don't you realize that we stole Hayley's present? It was wrong of us to steal it. If she find out, we'll be in big trouble!"

"Oh, who cares? Go crazy! Go have some fun!"

"No Roger! This present means a lot to Hayley more than ever! This is meant for her to become much happier than before and I took her for granted. I'm sorry Roger but we're going home."

"Fine! But, you're no fun!"

Back home, they realized that they forgot to restore the book back to its security lock.

"Oh crap! If Hayley find out, we'll be in big trouble!" Steve exclaimed.

"What do we do? What do we do?" Roger asked in a panicking tone.

"I got it."

Steve wrote three wishes:

Get rid of the glasses

The events from the past two hours never happened

The latest two wishes and this wish never happened

A beam pops up and it took place where the Smiths were writing their wishes to give to Hayley.

"YES! Finally, my country is safe and sound. Thank you Hayley!" Stan exclaimed.

"Yeah, sure dad. Steve and Roger, you're next. "

"Oh, I got one!" Steve writes his wish, thinks about for a second, gives it to Hayley, and asks Steve.

"Really Steve? Nothing for sure will happen. Why?"

"Let's just say I don't want to lose trust to my hippie sister of mine!"

"Aww! Thanks kiddo." Hayley said with a smile. She writes it down and nothing happened.

"Oh well. Roger? You want anything?"

"Nope!"

"Nope?! What do you mean nope?"

"There's nothing I want. I'm convinced."

"Okay, that's it everybody. I have to go to work. See ya!" Hayley leaves the Smith household and puts the book in a safe spot.

"Thank you Roger! I learned something today. Never take your loved ones for granted. Especially with a book that she owns."

"Oh no, Steve! No need to thank me! It was all you. This is what I really wanted." Roger moved his hands fast.

"My underwear! Can I have them back?"

"Nope! I gave it to some poor guy next door." Roger waives at the guy, who was holding on to Steve's tighty whities.

**There you have it, boys and girls! The moral of the story is to not be greedy for a present your older sibling has or else the green eyed monster will get the best of you. Luckily, no green eyed monster showed up in this fanfic. I may take a while to complete this story because of school and personal life, but it will be done before 2015. Take care, review, and see you next time.**

**P.S. Steve and Hayley are IMHO the best brother/sister team ever.**


	5. Chapter 5: Unstoppable

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of this! I may have to repeat it over and over and over!**

Since obtaining the wish book, Hayley feels that she can do whatever she wants.

"At last. With this book, no one can stop me. Oh wait, knock on wood! Knock on wood!" (Knocks a wall)

"Hey! Who's knocking?" Roger asked as he opened the door from the bathroom.

"Oh, sorry. I, uh, need to go to the bathroom. I need to take a huge hot chick dump." She lied.

"Yeah, right! You're up to something. Spit it out."

"Okay." Hayley spits out… saliva.

"Hey! What the hell?!"

"You told me to spit it out."

"GAH! Forget it. You can go take your chick dump."

"You mean hot chick dump?"

"Whatever!" Roger storms out.

"Actually, I only need to take a whiz." Hayley told herself and sighed as goes inside the bathroom.

Later, she is seen going to the mall with Jeff.

"Babe, what should we buy?" Jeff asked.

"Babe, I think we should only buy stuff that we can take once we move out."

"Can't you use the book to get us a house?"

"No, I wish though. It prevents me from wishing homes, money, or more wishes. Besides, I only use it for responsibilities only."

"I see. It's cool, babe."

"Yup. Let's check out this place." Hayley and Jeff went inside IKEA.

"Help, help! Some burglar stole my purse!" A woman screamed. "Somebody stop him!"

"Babe, did you hear that?"

"Yes, Jeff. Someone needs our help."

"Should we help them?" He asked.

"Nope. This can." Hayley goes inside a place to hide with her wish book. Later, the burglar's foot got stuck for no reason.

"I'm stuck!"

"That's him! That's the guy!" The woman told the police as they arrest the burglar.

(Cheering)

"Whoever stopped him, thank you!" yelled the woman.

"Babe, you did it!" Jeff exclaimed.

"Shut up Jeff!" Hayley told him. "I don't want anyone knowing that it was the book that stopped criminals. Besides, I don't look like a superhero."

"Sure you do, babe." He told her as he kissed his wife on the lips.

"Let's get out of here."

Later, the Smith family is seen eating dinner in the kitchen.

"Anything interesting happened at the mall today, honey?" Francine asked.

"No, why?" Hayley asked.

"Because supposedly someone prevented a robbery from happening. Do you know anything about this?"

"No. Jeff and I were just looking around at the mall, but we were distracted at IKEA that no one told me was happening. Right Jeff?"

"Uh, that's right, Hayley." Jeff answered back with a smile.

"I see" Stan said. "How's that book of yours?"

"Good. Just good. I'm taking care of it like if it were my baby."

"Baby? Didn't you have a baby before?" Steve asked.

"Had! Had a baby, Steve. I thought we never spoke of this."

"But Hayley. He was evil!"

"Okay okay! He was, but still, he was my son."

"OUR son, babe." Jeff added.

"Right, Jeff."

"So Jeff, any adventures you had?" Stan asked.

"Not really, Mr. S. Although my space adventures were fun…"

"BORING!" Roger shouted.

"They're not boring! You're boring!"

"Oh please! At least I was still alive unlike you, who were away getting space raped in space!"

"I was not space raped!" Jeff shouted.

"Babe, calm down." Hayley said in a calming voice.

"You wanna do something about it?" Roger stood up.

"You know I want to!" Jeff also stood up.

"I need to go to the bathroom! I, uh, have, uh, chick diarrhea!" Hayley lied as she stood up and left.

"Guys! Stop fighting!" Steve ordered as Jeff and Roger began fighting.

"Hey! KNOCK IT OFF!" Stan screamed.

"I'm out of here! Come on Steve." Francine said as she took her son away from the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Hayley is in her room, writing on her wish book.

"This better work!" she told herself.

Hayley goes back downstairs to the kitchen, where she sees Jeff and Roger hugging and crying.

"I'm sorry dude!" (Crying)

"I'm sorry too, handsome!" (Crying)

"What's going on?" Hayley asked.

"Hi, Hayley. Jeff and Roger were fighting for one minute and the next thing you know, they are bringing peace towards each other. It was like random."

"I see."

"Phew! Thank God that's over with." Steve said as he and Francine entered the kitchen. "You okay, Hayley?"

"Yeah, I'm fine! Why?"

"For someone who had diarrhea, that went super fast!"

"So? I'm a girl!" she exclaimed as her face turned red.

"That's no excuse! You did something, didn't you?"

"You want prove, come over here and smell the bathroom, you pig!" Hayley dragged Steve into the bathroom.

"Hey Steve. I actually wished that Jeff and Roger would stop fighting and bring peace towards each other. I never had diarrhea." She whispered in her brother's ear.

"I see. It's cool, sis."

"Please don't tell anybody!" she begged.

"I promise! Continue the fake argument?"

"Sure, I guess" she shrugs.

"Boy Hayley! It stinks up there! What the hell did you eat?" Steve shouted as he walks downstairs.

"I told you I had to go!" Hayley blinks as Steve blinks back.

"My sister is a stink-o!"

"You smell worse than me!"

"At least I'm not who cut one!"

"Kids! Is everything all right over fine?" Francine asked.

"Yes mom!" both said in unison.

"Finally! This book will show that Hayley Dreamsmasher Smith is the most powerful woman in the world! No one can stop me now!" (Laughs evilly, and then cough) "DAMN IT! I'm too nice!" she told herself in her mind. "Okay, time to play nice!"

As the weeks go by, a local forest fire burns at Bolivia gets washed out by an unexpected thunderstorm. Suddenly, a baby falls from a 10 feet building and was saved by a huge pile of pillows with no harm but crying. Later, a priest finds out he has cancer, only to be cured moments later. Also, Stan gets in a severe car accident, but only to drive home okay. Finally, Steve and Francine are seen at Francine's car, in which the brake was broken and it was heading towards a moving locomotive. Luckily, they stopped at the right moment and escaped harm. The safety wishes that were apparently coming true were coming from the Smith household. Hayley was seen writing all those wishes on her book. All is done with the song "Dirty Little Secret" by The All American Rejects is playing.

_Let me know that I've done wrong_

_When I've known this all along_

_I go around a time or two_

_Just to waste my time with you_

_Tell me all that you've thrown away_

_Find out games you don't wanna play_

_You are the only one that needs to know_

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret_

_(Dirty little secret)_

_Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret_

_(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)_

_My dirty little secret_

_Dirty little secret_

_Dirty little secret_

_Who has to know_

_Who has to know_

It's nighttime. Hayley is seen wearing her purple pajama night shirt. "Good night world. Tomorrow's another day" she told herself as she closes up the wish book and turned off the lights.

**I'm glad you enjoyed chapter 5. I apologize for some of you that felt uncomfortable from the last chapter. I will continue to do my best to have more readers. As far as reviews, I understand American Dad is not popular on , due to other shows meant to be written for fanfics, but please leave reviews. I really need some. The story will get better. I plan on making this the first long completed fanfiction story for American Dad ever. No other AD fanfiction have lasted more than 10 chapters. I plan on having this fanfiction the first one to have more than 15 chapters, a feature yet to be accomplished. So please, keep on reading, leave comments, and I will see you next time.**


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